Caring, connected relationships are a big deal to young people and it impacts their mental health. We asked young people, "How would you like adults to talk to you about your mental health?" This is what they said.
"I can't sleep."
Don't say...
"How about you go to bed earlier and get off your phone."
Say...
"What do you think is going on? Is there anything that helps with your sleep or that you might want to try, like a bedtime routine?"
Why it matters
I am not looking for a solution, I am looking for someone to understand how I feel.
When I am feeling stuck the last thing I want to hear about is it being my fault when I feel like I have no control.
"You have no idea what it's like for me to go to school every day."
Don't say...
"You better get used to it because that's how life is.
Say...
"You're right. I don't know how hard it is. What is it like for you when you go to school?
Why it matters
It is important to me that you try to understand my feelings and ask questions (without pushing me) to help support me and remind me that I'm not alone.
"I hate feeling like this all the time."
Don't say...
"It will pass."
Say...
"Is there anything I can do to help you right now?"
Why it matters
I want you to understand how intense my feelings are and how hard that is for me.
When I tell you how I feel, I'm trusting you. It can be hard to be honest about my feelings.
Please listen.
About the author
FamilySmart provides information, resources, navigation assistance, and support to families or caring adults of children, youth, or young adults with mental health and/or substance use challenges. Visit www.familysmart.ca.
